Real Talk and Honesty

I wish I could talk about cigarettes like Austin Garret but that's not for me.

  I want to talk about Honesty but I've been called a Compulsive Liar 3 times in the past 2 weeks so I guess that's a little ironic.

A little ironic but thickly real.

I want you to know that it hurt worse and worse every time.  Every syllable felt like a hot knife followed by an echo I never wanted to hear.
It hurt because it's true.

I've been living burnt for 4 years and I don't know if that's a good or bad thing but I'll tell you right now it's been a serious bitch.

It's been a long road of bloody palms but my hands are getting softer and softer with every passing day and I don't know if it's because I've washed them more than once or because February 22nd was 150 days ago.

This post is supposed to be about honesty so I'm telling you February 22nd was the day I became pure.  My heart changed, and so did my actions.

February 22nd is the reason I'm serving a mission and the reason my eyes changed from a dark hazel to a Light Green.  They're the brightest they've ever been And tonight you told me they flowed like a river which is also ironic.

If I'm being honest right now, I hate when you talk about baseball.  And I know "hate" is a strong word, but you weren't the one with a broken elbow.

I'm sick of hearing the story told over and over again because it still hurts every time.  And I'm sorry I'm still bitter but you don't know what it feels like to hear the word "Disappointment" when you're already on the verge of tears.

So this post is for you. 
And this post is for me because I've been kneeling on the ground for the last 5 months trying to forget my failures but it's hard to let go of something that's constantly staring you right in the face.

I'm being pulled West and East and my head is hanging low but at least I'm not chained to the floor anymore.

 

I know this post is supposed to be about honesty, but this post is meant for the solid oak I've become. This is meant for the deep roots in my veins, and the clear green apples that have been growing on my heart. 
Because 5 months ago, everything was rotten.

 

So this is my Thank You.

 

- Braeden