Smell The Rain

I woke up at 12:53 to look at myself in the mirror.

I turned the flash on and watched the smoke sink in, and release. Releasing the darkness that filled my touches from age 13 to 17.

I saw black bags, and helpless eyes. Half-lights, and a broken smile.

I watched it whither away with every exhale.

In and Out.

 

In

and

Out.

 

If you really knew me you would know my favorite color is green and I've only been in a meadow once. But it was a beautiful meadow.

I skipped rocks on the reflection and counted 10,000 stars while they aligned through our hands.
Wet grass and warm Roses wrapped around our shivering bones like an orphan being touched by his mother.

I looked deep in your eyes for the first time and I don't know if I saw Heaven or Hell, but I know I liked it.

 

You'd know my favorite moments were the ones at the top of Horsetail Falls.

We didn't talk.  We just listened to the birds, the sun, the slight breeze, heavy breathing, and the time counting faster than we could.

We spent days with goosebumps and weeks of pure happiness.

We laughed more than usual and took risks we wouldn't normally take.

 

 

You didn't know I'm afraid of roller coasters until we got there. #confession: I only went on them to hold your hand.

I still flex in the mirror, I brush my teeth twice before I leave the house, and I even cry in my bed sometimes.

This is the real Braeden. The one that's afraid to leave my moms hugs.

But I'm ready to go. I'll blow away my teenage years along with my life here in Alpine, but I'll never give away my breathless moments.

I'll put them in a jar and open them on the days I want to feel like a kid again. The days I miss being young.

 

But until then, I'm just trying to fill my canteen.

 

 

 

 

 

- Trevor Powers